Obstacles
I started a new Daily Om course called “A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self.” It gives you a new lesson each week. I decided to start the course here on my blog, so here we go.
Questions/Prompts to Guide Your Writing:
What is standing in your way right now?
Well. My biggest obstacle right now would have to be a longstanding belief that I can’t write. It is my dearest desire, and has been since I learned to read, to be a writer. Thanks to Nathan being the generous man he is, willing to try to get by on one salary, I have that chance now. I am currently reading the book The Four Agreements. in the first chapter Ruiz explains, “During our domestication, our parents and siblings [and teachers] gave their opinions about us without even thinking, We believed these opinions, like not being good at swimming, or sports, or writing. Someone gives an opinion and says, “Look, this girl is ugly!” The girl listens, believes she is ugly, and grows up with the idea that she is ugly. It doesn’t matter how beautiful she is; as long as she has that agreement, she will believe that she is ugly, That is the spell she is under.” (The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz, page 29) I am under so many agreements that are damaging to me, and the one I would most like to change is that I can’t write. I can tell you exactly when that happened. I can pinpoint it. It happened in elementary school. I wrote a Christmas story for an assignment. It was a conversation between Santa and his elves, and I was soooo proud of it! We had just learned how to do quotation marks. Later that day, I was walking down the hall, and there was a group of teachers. “They were supposed to use quotations, but this is all quotations!” My perception was that they were mocking, and LAUGHING about my little story. Right then and there I made one of my most damaging “agreements”… that I can’t write. And it has killed my motivation all these years. I am hoping to break that spell. Who knows, looking back they may not have been talking about me, but that’s what I thought- and what I locked in.
What would happen if you overcame the obstacle? More importantly, what would happen if you didn't (think broadly: emotionally, physically, financially, etc.)?
If I could overcome that obstacle I could fulfill my dream of being a writer. Published or not, it is no matter. I could find great joy in sitting down to write to pull out these ideas and images I have. I could write crap stuff or something really good, that doesn’t even matter, I would be WRITING. If I didn’t overcome it I would go on believing I’m a fraud and a wannabe.
Can you reframe the most pressing current obstacle as simply a to-do list? In other words, in order to overcome this, what do you need to learn? What tasks do you need to perform? Who do you need to convince?
To be a writer, you write. simple as that and I need nothing to achieve it, except some motivation and dedication. I also would like to do some courses with exercises to inspire, and perhaps to get some feedback. Tasks? Sit and write. Who do I need to convince? Me.
Have you ever used an "obstacle" as an excuse not to get started? Did you regret it?
Oh, yes. So many years of “I can’t write” stopping me from claiming my dearest dream.
Are obstacles really just fears holding you back?
Yes. I believe so. And what am I afraid of? Success? Failure?
What is the longest-running obstacle in your life?
I guess what I have already described and the more general belief that I’m a failure, that I don’t cut it, that I disappoint.
What steps have you used to make progress toward overcoming it? How far have you come with it? What do you wish would happen? How would that be possible?
The Four Agreements has some great ideas that I want to work with. I also have great therapists who are helping me. I have come far enough to take the leap to leave working life to focus on my dreams. I wish I could take classes on writing though UW-Extension. They have some really fine poetry and writing courses taught by some really excellent teachers. It will become possible as I’m able to save some money to pay for them.
What is the biggest obstacle you faced in your past? Did you overcome it? If so, how? If not, why?
I guess my biggest obstacle from the past would be my severe anxiety and depression. Did I overcome it? The best answer for that would be “sometimes.” I have to be vigilant. It is part of my biology, so there’s only so much I can “will” to do about it, but I have tools and support that I rely on.
